your hand holds the key that opens my heart
still you choose to break in and tear it apart
love letters i've written cast down on the ground
you've burned all the bridges and burned the house down

the look in your eyes
that smile on your face
the knife in the back i've learned to embrace

they say love is patient
i've heard love is kind
i've learned that love can love despite lies

Dear Journal,

There are times when we give gifts expecting some in return. If we give an expensive gift, we hope for an expensive gift... but that doesn’t always happen. When people give more than they receive, they usually end up feeling ripped off.

I’ve realized that there is only one gift that matters. God gave everything that He could give... and honestly, he doesn’t really require much from us. He doesn’t expect us to pay Him back, because it would be impossible. The only thing that the Lord wants from me is my heart. He doesn’t want me to wrap up my heart with paper and bows. He wants my broken heart.

As I celebrate the day of my Lord’s birth, I will remember His death.

Yours truly...

Jesus
all i want
is to know you more
to feel your touch
this broken heart
is crying out
for your love

do you copy?
are you listening?
the bombs have been placed
in the building
the virus is ready
to go
it will be released
when the bombs explode
the people inside
will all scream
and those who don't die
will be eaten alive
by zombies

come in my friend
you're welcome here
you can stay as
long as you like
when you're here
all fear is gone
the pain is out of sight
i'd like to give
my heart to you
but sometimes
it seems impossible

i see you walking down the hall
with your friends
i watch you from a distance
you don't notice
because i'm no one
and you'll never see me

"your move."

it was silent.

quietly, she studied the board. she lighty placed her fingers upon the bishop.

as they sat in the dim room, nothing could be heard. there were no children playing outside. there were no guests gossiping in the living room. there was nothing.

a few seconds passed, then she took a deep breath.

"i can't do this."

she removed her hand from the board to wipe away tears as her head slumped down into her knees. she shook violently, but there was nothing that he could do.

the game was over.

Christmas bells will not be jingling this year
Because blood will be dripping down our wrists

This Christmas
I hope to wake up
In the arms of my Saviour

welcome to the joy electric land museum.
on your tour, you will discover mountains,
hills, and trees made of candy.
you will encounter unicorns and fairies.
you might even catch a glimpse of the king.
prepare your heart and mind for all things make believe.
we hope you enjoy your stay.

verse1:
entropy says we won't make it
science proves we're falling apart
statistics show the odds are against us
but i refuse to be a number

this time i'll use the right equation
our love will grow exponentially
the sky's too small to be our limit
we'll continue on past infinity

bridge:
probability becomes our worst enemy
probability becomes our worst enemy

chorus:
i'll fight (i'll fight)
against the arms of the clock
turn back the time
and make you mine

i'll fight (i'll fight)
against the arms of the clock
turn back the time
and make you mine again

verse2:
our love is not imaginary
our love is not complex
our love is not irrational
our love is real (our love is real)

our love is not imaginary
our love is not complex
our love is not irrational
our love is real (our love is real)

bridge:
probability becomes our worst enemy
probability becomes our worst enemy

chorus:
i'll fight (i'll fight)
against the arms of the clock
turn back the time
and make you mine

i'll fight (i'll fight)
against the arms of the clock
turn back the time
and make you mine again

addiction's anthem

it starts with a kiss
only one simple kiss
my mistress, Addiction
Addiction is bliss

she undresses me softly
caresses the lips
bites down with her teeth
my Addiction is bliss

promise you love me
and you'll stay by my side
take my hand and lead the way
i'll love you till i die

Bulimia, my beautiful
cleanse me with your kiss
slide your tongue deep down my throat
remove my ugly sin

and Heroin, my lovely friend
fill my veins with your warmth
it's cold and so lonely
mirror, mirror please show me
when the sun will rise with healing
in its wings

promise you love me
and you'll stay by my side
take my hand and lead the way
i'll love you till i die

promise you'll stay here
you'll never leave my side
i'll love you forever
till the day you take my life

the neverland messiah

i've heard tales of a warrior
who comes from afar
who turns water into wine

i've heard rumors that he leads
armies of angels
into war to fight

with the wings of an eagle
and a sword in his mouth
he's conquered the dragons
and defeated the proud

he's knocking
on doors of gingerbread houses
and strengthening
homes built out of straw

i've heard stories of demons
cast out in his name
and the blind restored their sight

some say he's a wizard
some say he's a king
of a far away land made of
clouds and candy

he's knocking
on doors of gingerbread houses
and strengthening
homes built out of straw

liquor dance

verse1:
a car pulls up in the driveway
he made it home again tonight
he struggles to find the right key
opens the door and stumbles inside

he reaches his arms out towards me
as i run to his loving embrace
he picks me up and twirls me
sings me songs and kisses my face

chorus:
when daddy dances
mommy cries
when he tucks me in
i shut my eyes
wishing the pain away
dreaming of better days
wishing the pain away

verse2:
another car pulls in the driveway
sirens blaring, lights are flashing
he struggles to hold back the tears
as he stumbles into the back seat

chorus (maybe 2 times)

bridge:
there's a princess behind those bruises
and there's a father who loves her
that has lost his way

chorus

Bulimia, my beautiful
Please cleanse me
With a kiss

Please stick your tongue
Deep down my throat
Remove my ugly sins

It starts with a kiss
Only one simple kiss
My mistress Addiction
Addiction is bliss

She undresses me softly
Caresses the lips
Bites down with her teeth
My Addiction is bliss

PRIDE: Beloved friends, how are you?
FASHION: Compassionate for the youth,
So busy teaching them what not to wear...
PRIDE: And teaching them to only care
About themselves and how they feel...
FASHION: Self-esteem and sex appeal...
PRIDE: And most importantly my friends...
FEAR: Teaching them that LOVE is not real.

rocks and flowers are the voice
of the silent generation
trees and rabbits praise with hymns
as the nations waste away
butterflies and bumblebees
all creation cries out to the king
nature points to the creator
nations kill to become greater
soon enough the Lord will purge
the world; its cries will soon be heard
and all that man has sought to gain
will melt away in a great fire

the waters whisper in the night
while glowing stars give off their light
a lonely raft floats peaceably
as the ocean conducts a ceremony
debris sinks quietly into the sea
as sharks and fish rid the sea of bodies
the waters sing silently into the night
telling the stories of those who have died

dear journal
these sins and secrets have grown
too many to number
your pages too few

oh journal
the ink in the pen has run dry
unable to write of
the life I despise

dear Jesus
erase what I’ve written in black
make the pages as snow
dip my heart in red ink

love is eternal
love endures all
love never fails
wavers or falls

love ties the knot
of the noose on the tree
love can be deadly
if there was none received

I asked the grass
“how do you grow?”
the grass replied
“with the help of snow”

I sought to find
a patch of snow
to ask it how
it helped grass grow

I climbed the highest mountain top
in order to converse with snow
the snow remarked, “I melt away
and end up in the lakes and rain”

I looked up to the great blue sky
“please tell me clouds, I have to know
why do you cry?”

the clouds replied
“in order to bring forth new life”

quiet
aim your weapon
reload the tongue
prepare yourself to

fire
shoot the target
pin drop silence
thrust a blade into the spine

blessed be the Lord
almighty
pass the ammunition

sacrifice the broken brother
incense burning
praise the father
on the lovely gossip altar

Raping grace
Your precious face
Oh YHVH, forgive

Iniquitous deeds
Brought forth a disease
Oh YHVH, forgive

Self-inflicted suffering
Place the coal upon my lips

a single car
an empty street
within the car
an incomplete heart

a single star
an empty sky
a single tear
excapes from his eye

beneath the rock
encased in ground
the fragments of
love can be found

embrace the warmth while it lasts
the sun will set with no regrets
stars will rise
the moon will shine
amongst the beauty of the night
emptiness will find its way into your life

sickness in society
spreads every time the sun goes down
media gives birth to beauty
distort the shape, remove the pounds
parade the latest fashion trends
inject the venom ounce by ounce
self-control is obsolete
in this empty world, you'll surely drown

beneath violent waters
the beautiful daughter
of pearls and treasures
priceless beyond measure
swims in the sea
alone for all eternity

her heart has been crushed
by the pressure
revive her
breathe new life inside her

ice forms on the water
to preserve the daughter
the beauty is swallowed
by a dull shell now hallowed
and there she will be
for all eternity

the threads of my heart,
unravelled by lust,
follow the needles
that they've grown to trust.

desires entangle;
destruction still weaves.
the needles work quickly
to bind and deceive.

three needles secure Him.
still bound by the string,
i fashion a crown
of barbed wire for my King.

allow me, dear Father,
to enter Your rest.
the threads of my heart
long for Your holiness.

He walked down the street. Silently, he placed one foot in front of the other. It was an obedient march in a one-man parade. The blank eyes scanned the street as the wind tossed papers like a raft in the sea. He stopped. Newspapers danced to and fro; they circled the young man and embraced his cold skin. A leaf kissed him on the cheek and branches cowered in fear. After standing still for a few moments, he proceeded with the aimless journey. It would not have been a surprising scenario to find the boy and his family gathered around those papers a few months ago, but now the words have become obsolete. The headlines and pictures are common knowledge and the prophecy a reality.

Romantic discourse breaks the quiet of night
As the seraphim cry and pray.
Perched on a wire, birds watch from above
Entreating that she run away.
Demons broke her heart; innocence was lost that day.

A lamb on the altar
A knife in the chest
The blood on the hands
Betrays us

Torn and ripped open
Compassionate eyes
Cold blooded murderers
Forgiven

A weak broken arm
Reaches out towards hearts
With a key that unlocks
The souls

The songs of charis
Lift us up
To the heavens
To abide forevermore

Hours and minutes
Creep slowly through life
To cover the mouths
Of those who are silent

In Time's mind
Partiality does not exist
The sleeping are silent
Even after they die

The hands of the clock
Reach up from the ground
To replace the quiet
With a subtle tick-tock

Time will be friend until
The day there is none left

We're shadows
We're shifting
Dancing in the night

We're stalking
So silent
Hiding from the light

We're thirsty
We're hungry
Searching for a bite

You're lovely
So lovely
Your skin is just right

You're more than welcome
To become one of us

her heart still beats
within the mind
her scent so near
brings tears to eyes

he requires one minute
to separate
the body from the soul

her words still echo
through the halls
a peaceful stream
into a waterfall

seconds are all
he needs to break
the hearts of the living

oh, Death be nimble
Death be quick
please take me with her
before i do it

Do you remember when
We were so in love?
Nothing could come
Between us.

Do you remember that night
The rain poured down?
Sitting quiet
In the silence.

Sorry for the time I stole
Forgive me for the pain
A first kiss not meant for your lips
We've gone our separate ways

The laughter resonates,
Your smile ingrained.
Sparkles shining
In your eyes.

With stars in our pockets
And warmth in our hearts.
The love was never
Really there.

Sorry for the time I stole
Forgive me for the pain
A first kiss not meant for your lips
We've gone our separate ways

You're just a memory
But I hope you're doing fine.

They're building bridges to nowhere.
They're hopeless; we don't care.
We watch as they walk over the ledge.

They're falling faster. Our hearts full
Of laughter while we are
Rejoicing that we're not the ones dead.

Since when did our goals shift
From persuading men
To pursuing our own selfish desires?

We have the cure to their cancer,
The only true answer,
The pill that we claim has saved our lives.

Disassociation is key to
The Christian religion
While God weeps as the world is perishing.

Since when did our goals shift
From persuading men
To pursuing our own selfish desires?

Serenity broken by black clouds above
Droplets form and fall on the land
A scattered flock with no shepherd in sight
Content with dead grass on the ground

Rains pour down harder making rivers grow wider
Violent waves crash over their heads
They struggle to chew as they choke on the water
Soon enough they'll all be dead

Angels' tears are sweeter when the sick know how to swim

Fix the frayed cords;
Build me a smile.
Adjust my heart;
Turn the dials.

Will I ever be a real boy?

Push the buttons
One by one.
Until your perfect
Work is done.

Tighten bolts;
Grease the joints.
Solve equations;
Plot my points.

Start the pistons in my heart.
Can I ever be a real man?

Your blood runs freely
Through my wires.
Deep inside,
Ignite a fire.

Beware the adulteress
Who lurks in the night.
Steer clear of her beauty;
Steer clear of her light.

Her smile so deadly,
Her voice so sincere,
The question she asks
Fills all men with fear.

You’re beautiful
Without that mask
Oh, Kuchisake-onna.
More beautiful
Than any rose,
More lovely than a geisha.

Her pain manifested,
A hideous smile.
Tears roll down her face,
Innocence of a child.

The question comes up:
“Am I still beautiful?”
The answer is: “Yes.
More than my words can show.”

You’re beautiful
Without that mask
Oh, Kuchisake-onna.
More beautiful
Than any rose,
More lovely than a geisha.

God’s greatest gift
Has turned into a monster
That takes what it wishes
And leaves you die.
Love has been perverted,
Turned into a lie.
Beauty is deeper
Than skin, hair, and eyes.

Take off the mask and smile.

Watch as the moon
Rotates in the night sky
With the stars as her light.
What a beautiful view
She must have from above
As she looks down on us.

She must say:
"How I long to have life in my soil
And bring forth grain and trees
And branches and leaves."

But, oh, if she knew;
If she understood...

"That place looks delightful,"
She says to a star.
"But how would you know?"
Says the star to the moon,
"You're so very far."
She replies: "There is life!
Oh, I envy that sphere
With the water and trees
And that big open sea."

But, oh if she knew...

The lens and the mirrors
Make her brilliant and clear.
Remove yourself from the eyepiece;
You can't be among stars forever.

Look out the window.
Tell me what you see.
There's no need to say;
I know what's out there.
Though they seem in high spirits,
They're full of despair.

The moon has a much better view of this place.
She sees swirling clouds
And the green tops of trees
And the endless seas
Flowing with grace.

She can't hear the cries of those hurting at night.
She can't see the prostitutes by the streetlights.
She can't see the users with pills and white lines.
The world is not what it seems.

What a wonderful ceremony.
A marriage, you say.
Well, perhaps.
Such a fabulous matrimony.
One dressed in white
And one painted black.

Oh! It was so beautiful.
The sparks they flew
And everyone stopped.

That night two bodies came
Together to form one.
That night two lives were lost.
The most splendid thing
That I've ever seen!

Oh! It was so wonderful.
The mangled metal
Tied in knots.

Here comes the clean up crew
To tow them away then throw them away.
There goes the family
To put them in their graves.

Oh! It was so beautiful.
The sparks they flew
And everyone stopped.
Oh! It was so wonderful.
The mangled metal
Tied in knots.

Arise.
My dear, open your eyes.
The sun peeks through the hills.
The time is now; don’t hesitate.

Arise.
Our day draws near.
Put fear behind you.
I’ll take your hand and lead the way.

Arise.
Join my side.
Let’s walk a while.
We’ll get lost until the sun goes down.

And never go back again.
I wouldn’t trade this for anything.
We’ll never go back again.
You and I will be together
Till the sun burns out.

Cleanse me.

Fill me.

Use me.